Ground

Caramel corn. I plunge my nose closer to the wide-mouthed pint jar and breathe. The Sulawesi smells like caramel corn.

The cafe is sparsely filled, students clustered over books and laptops, two girls at the high table pasting hearts and sparkles on homemade valentines. The mid shift has ended and Rachel has gone home. With a eyebrow raise, I throw out a subtle "soooo did you bring coffee?" which prompts Brady to pull three jam jars from his bag with a grin.

Freshly roasted, small batches in an airpopper. The beans are brightly cocoa, dry and fragrant. Eagerly (but subtley, not at all excited about this), I unscrew the tops.

Ten minutes later, we've assembled our spread. Three squat glasses with precisely-measured grounds, spoons, water glasses, spit cups. The water is heating and the timer is set. We wait.

It is with an odd mixture of enjoyment and awkwardness that we break through the crust of grounds and start slurping. The customers seem too busy with whatever they're immersed in to notice our loud "FTTTTTTT!" as we suck the coffee over our tongues and then spit it back out after a moment of savoring. The El Salvador is brightly citrusy; the Sulawesi herby, with a black tea bitterness that contrasts so brightly with the glorious Panama next to it that is overwhelmingly chocolate, dark berries, honey sweetness.

I am amazed at the quality and, frankly, deliciousness, of these coffees. It is bittersweet to me that we are not prouder of what we pour daily, what we sell, especially since the scope of coffee in general is so grand. When my husband and I started dating, our first date was (I'm ashamed to say) at a Seattle's Best. I think I chose a white chocolate something, drowning the espresso in frothy milk and sweetness. When I started at the shop eight years ago, my drink of choice was heavy with fat and syrup, again masking the boldness of the coffee I have grown to love purely for itself now.

I dip my spoon into the glass again and scoop off the top, then bring it to my lips to taste. I am met with a spicy bittersweetness that swirls gently around my mouth long after I swallow the last drop.


Panama: Chocolate-Cardamom Cupcakes with Honey-Cinnamon Buttercream

The cupcakes were made from this recipe, with 3/4 tsp of ground cardamom added to the batter.
The buttercream was made from this delicious recipe, with a generous squirt of honey, a couple shakes of cinnamon, and 1/2 tsp of vanilla bean paste.

daylight

This song, oh along with so many on his album, has grabbed me, pulled me towards it. I have been singing it and thinking it and it is sanity this week.

Daylight- Joe Choi

daylight creeps in
through my windows
under my doorway

and hope comes in shades of color
ovetaking my black and grey
finally replacing somehow
all the pain

you are my morning star
you are my sun
your love, it's what keeps me warm
with you i can face this day
believe in the promises you made
they're no longer just empty words on a page

your love keeps me alive
i'm so alive

your love keeps me alive

the stars roll out
like a blanket across my cold black sky

i feel warmth in my lungs
gives me a new song that i can sing
yes, you give me a song to sing

stars shine
opening up the windows of light
daylight comes
causing my shadows to flee from the sun

my healing comes on the shoulders
on the wings of the dawn
my new day has come
i'm so alive
your love makes me alive

daylight creeps in

Comfort

After gently unrolling the top of the bag, I shove my nose in, breathing in the smooth acidity of freshly roasted beans. The coffee launches a small shiver up my spine, a small tingling of delight for what's to come. I measure the beans out carefully, deliberately. I am a geek: the proportions must be right, the water must not be too hot, we must not overextract. I pour the grounds into my press and wait...

This is such a shift. My pace has slowed and this whole concept of free time is something I am approaching slowly, as if an old friend I haven't seen in a while. I feel as if I give and am encouraged (with eggrolls and Thai food, among other things) by the gracious appreciation I receive. The difference quite frankly, is astounding.

Lately

A move. A mostly-energetic six-year old sleeping on the couch with Spongebob Squarepants squeaking in the background. Jobs gained, jobs lost. Money flitting in and out, admittedly too much spent on sugar and flour, coconut, walnuts. Turning 27 (can one still say they are in their mid 20’s at 27? I don’t think so…) with a bright birthday bash, ridiculous and adorable decorations and terrible terrible jello shots. Smooth sharpness of Herkimer beans fresh ground, poured into stout glasses with ice and a splash of cream. Skewering shrimp and plating salmon mousse and serving with an amazing team of some of the most generous women I have ever known. Bright hopeful new car two days later destroyed, husband- thankfully- walking away unscathed. Surfacing every so often for air in the days upon days of numbing cubicle dreariness, running to Bothell and thinking, ‘oh, this is where I am most myself’. Pouring my best damn latte art yet and being unsatisfied as I can be better, I want to be better, and pushing myself to grow.

This year will be better than the last. There is change coming and I am thankful for the shift.

P.S. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129137755

Strawberry Coconut Tart

I seem to end up here less frequently now than in the first few months of the year. I have been busy. There have been things, schedules, conflicts. There have been more baking disasters than successes. There has been an energetic five year old coveting my attention, and- oh yeah, did I mention a move to an entirely new kitchen?

We are finally moved in, for the most part. All cakepans, spatulas, skillets, and parchment paper are out of boxes and have found homes. We are adjusting gleefully to an oven capable of maintaining a stable temperature other than 350 degrees. We Have Space.

We have made a tart.



I have made a few modifications to this:

1) Do you know how expensive and sad the raspberries are at QFC right now? Tiny little squares of berries for crazy prices? I say, no. I say, hello sweet red strawberries, I choose you.

2) I have adopted a tart pan that is 12” in diameter, not 9. So the measurements for the crust were increased a bit (see below for adjustments).

3) I used sweetened coconut, as I had it left over from the brownies from last month, to no apparent issues. The toasting process brings out the salty crunch and downplays the sugar. But to compensate I put a little less sugar, further adjusting my changes for pan-size.



The recipe says it is best a few hours out of the oven. And it was. But I thought it was also pretty wicked amazing for breakfast, eating it out of a paper towel in the car on my way to work.

Strawberry Coconut Tart (Adapted from Lottie + Doof, AND Alice Medrich)

You'll need a 12-inch fluted tart pan for this. Which, yes, makes a rather large tart. Don't worry, you'll finish it.

For the Crust:

3/4 cup sweetened shredded dried coconut
2/3 cup sugar
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and still warm
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon salt (or just a generous pinch)
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Place large heavy baking sheet (I used a cookie sheet, but the recipe recommended a pizza stone) into the preheating oven on a rack in the bottom half of the oven.

Put coconut into a heavy skillet over medium heat. Toast coconut, moving it around the pan, for about 5 minutes, or until coconut is lightly browned. While toasting coconut, melt the butter in a microwave-safe bowl and set aside.

When coconut is done, immediately pour into mixing bowl, along with sugar, vanilla, and melted butter. Mix, and then pour in flour and salt, and mix again just until ingredients are all combined. Turn batter out into tart pan, and with the tips of your fingers, evenly spread dough around base of the pan and up into the fluted edges.

Then make the Filling:

3 tablespoons sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
Approximately 24 oz strawberries, or 1 1/2 16 oz packages of berries, rinsed, dried, and cut into small pieces

Powdered sugar, for dusting

Cut approximately 2 cups of the strawberries into small pieces, about a quarter inch wide and quarter to half an inch long. Combine strawberry pieces with the sugar and flour, folding the dry ingredients so the berries are just covered. Pour into the tart pan and spread evenly, being careful not to move the dough underneath. Place tart pan on a sheet of foil (or two) big enough to lightly wrap over edges of crust.

Bake with foil on baking sheet for 15 minutes. When timer rings, remove foil, turn oven down to 350, and bake for an additional 25-30 minutes. Crust will be dark golden brown, and berries will soften considerably.

While tart is cooking, slice remaining strawberries up for top of tart. When ready, remove tart from oven, and arrange fresh strawberry slices on top of hot filling, covering as much of the cooked tart center as possible. Let cool completely on rack before removing from tart pan.

Once cool and ready to eat, dust top with powdered sugar.

Making lemonade

Last Monday started like any other painfully sleepy start to the week. I attempted to keep myself on track and strayed so often, getting distracted by foodie blogs, by music, when suddenly I spotted a newly-posted recipe on smittenkitchen for Coconut Milk Fudge, and then and there decided that was my plan for the evening. Make. Fudge.

Fast-forward ten hours or so, and I’m at home, sitting on the counter next to my oven, book in one hand, whisk in the other. I’ve been stirring the bloody fudge mixture for an hour and it has set to the approximate consistency of ketchup. Or hershey’s chocolate sauce. Nothing even remotely close to being hard enough to roll into balls and coat in the beautiful crunchy coconut toasted early that evening.

The “fudge” went into a bowl in the fridge. And I pouted. And posted a comment on her blog, only to find out I am seemingly the only person in her whole range of internet audience that had any trouble with these not turning out perfectly with minimal effort.

Take two: Fast-forward to Wednesday. I’m again at home, the book, the pan, the whisk- all there. And instead, after 45 minutes rather than an hour when no progress had been made, I hurled some choice phrases at my non-fudge, put in a bowl, and stuck it in the fridge next to the other one.

Fail.

Last night I worked at the shop, which put me home around 11:15, and just starting to make the b-day treat for a co-worker. I baked lovely fudgy brownies (out of a box- don’t judge me). When they came out of the oven- gooey, perfect- I pricked the tops of the brownies with a fork and then after a few minutes of cooling (still in the pan), I poured both batches of the "fudge" over the top.

The next morning, I sprinkled most of that lovely crunchy toasted coconut over the top, and then cut them up into 1 1/2 inch squares. The topping barely stayed on the brownies, I have to admit, but ohhhh man, they were good. The toasted coconut gave a little texture and crunch, and the creaminess of the sweetened condensed milk and coconut milk had permeated the brownie batter.



All in all, for two nights of failure, these were darn good. And should my next attempt at fudge be just as unsuccessful (because you know I'll try again, I can't just leave things alone), at least I know these will be a hit.

Break

Well, kids, it has been nigh a month since my last post. It really hasn’t been that exciting of a month, just busy busy, fraught with car problems, espresso classes, and enough cubicle drudgery to make my little soul dry up like a dehydrated strawberry*.

I have been baking though, attempting one new recipe a week and some weeks multiple versions of the same glorious thing.

So:

1) For V-day, I made Whisk Kid’s one-bowl chocolate cupcakes (the recipe she borrowed from Martha). She topped them with pistachios and a bright pink rose, while I wanted a more romantic take and so on top of a generous layer of chocolate ganache, I added a piece of strawberry (see- they’re on the brain!) and a light sprinkling of sea-salt. Yum!



I made them again a week later, and just to note- if the salt does not go on when the ganache is warm and gooey, it will just stick to the strawberry, causing none of the saltiness to mingle with the chocolate and creating a very awkward first bite.

2) This past week I have been feeling lazy, tired, at the end of my patience and physical ability to keep going at this pace. I work too much. I don’t get enough sleep. Blah blah blah… But I’ve made a little mental promise that on my nights off, I will expand my culinary catalogue and bake something new. So Sunday night I made a quick run to QFC for some pumpkin, chocolate chips, and eggs, and threw these muffins together. I emptied the package of chopped walnuts left over from Monday’s dinner party cake, so a little more than what was called for. I could not decide whether to use white or semisweet chocolate chips, and voila- there is such a thing as chocolate chips made with both!



Pumpkin-Chip Muffins (from here.)

1 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp ground ginger**
1/2 tsp ground cloves**
1 tsp ground nutmeg**
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt

2 eggs
1 cup pumpkin
4 oz unsalted butter, melted

6 oz chocolate chips (whichever kind you prefer)
1/2 cup of walnuts

Preheat oven to- you guessed it- 350 F.

Mix all dry ingredients (flour, salt, sugar, spices, baking soda, baking powder) together and set aside.

In a bowl, or in your stand mixer bowl, combine together eggs, pumpkin and melted butter. When mixed, add chocolate chips and walnuts.

Keep mixer running and add dry ingredients. Mix just until all the dry ingredients are integrated- you don’t need to thoroughly combine.

Pour batter into oiled/buttered muffin tins or paper muffin cups (I did not have on hand). I ended up with 13 muffins, so a full tray and one extra on a second tray that got infiltrated by my current ant problem before it reached the oven.

Muffins will cook for 15-20 minutes. After letting them cool for a few minutes in the pan, pop onto a cooling rack and don’t even try to resist eating them while they’re still warm and gooey.


*After one particularly wretched office day in which the life of Dilbert seemed a better alternative to my own, I wrote a cathartic little poem about my discomfort with Current Job. The only line even remotely salvageable was the strawberry line, and solely because it is such an entertaining mental picture.

** I did not have all of these spices on hand, shame on me. However, I did have Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Pie spice blend in my cabinet, which consists of all these and then some, so I substituted 2 tsp of this for the nutmeg, ginger, and cloves. And it worked out just fine.