Soothe

For a recent goodbye party, a halting awkward sorrowful last day, I made poppyseed lime cupcakes, topped with a lime-zet buttercream and dark poppyseeds that crunched between your teeth. They were decent; my buttercream came together without issue and the cupcakes were squat little rounds buttery and slightly tangy with citrus. I wanted to be happier about how pretty they were- I mean, look, they are adorable with their polka-dotted top.


But my heart just wasn't in it. There is such deep joy in baking for me- in baking, giving, celebrating- and this, for my vast attempts to be joyful, was a struggle. I am not good with change.

I however was renewed in my next effort: Coconut Almond cupcakes for a friend's birthday the following week. They were dense and moist, with pockets of shredded coconut and nuggets of marzipan that had stubbornly refused to incorporate, and so became tiny treasures buried in coconut-milk batter. I swooned. I beamed. I felt all the heart and happiness lacking in the poppyseed cakes was imparted into these little guys. I resisted, with great restraint, eating them all myself.



Coconut-Almond Cupcakes

1 cup butter, room temp
2 c sugar
4 oz marzipan or sweetened almond paste

2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp coconut extract

1 tsp salt
2 cups flour (the original recipe calls for cake flour)
1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 cup coconut milk

3 egg whites
1/2 cup shredded coconut

In a stand mixer, cream together butter and sugar. Add in marzipan/almond paste and mix until combined. Add in two whole eggs, and both vanilla and coconut extracts.

Sift together all dry ingredients. Add half of dry ingredients to batter, then 1/2 of coconut milk, scraping the bowl as you go, then put in remaining coconut milk and flour mixture.

Beat egg whites until fluffy and soft peaks and fold gently into mixed batter along with the shredded coconut.

Bake in cupcake tins for 15-20 minutes at 350 degrees, or until toothpick comes out clean.

Makes 18 cupcakes, plus two 4 1/2 inch springform cakes. :)


Almond Buttercream
5 egg whites
1 cup sugar
2 sticks butter, left to soften on counter for half-an-hour
1 tsp almond extract

Start water boiling in a pot for the bottom of a double boiler. In the meantime, combine egg whites and sugar, whisking together gently until combined. I usually do this in the bowl of my stand mixer. When water boils, bring back down to a simmer, then position bowl over simmering water (making sure water does not touch bottom of pan). Whisk egg/sugar mixture for a few moments over double boiler, until mixture rubbed between thumb and finger comes away smooth and warmed, not grainy. It should "ribbon" into bowl in thin strings when pulled out of mixture.

Remove bowl from stovetop and immediately put back on stand mixer base. Using the whisk attachment, beat egg/sugar mixture on high until it forms a stiff-peak meringue. While this is mixing, cut butter into 1/2 tablespoon-sized pieces.

When meringue has come together, turn mixer down to medium-low speed. Start adding butter cubes, pausing between each to let the cube integrate into meringue. After all butter is in, turn mixer back up to medium-high and beat until frosting comes together. It should happen fairly quickly after speed is increased. If after a few moments the frosting is still liquidy, pull bowl off mixer and put in freezer for about five minutes, then whip again.

Pipe or spread onto cooled cupcakes and top with toasted coconut flakes.